Live and Learn Blog Event - Day 6 (Final Day)

Practical advice for new parents.

Miscelaneous

This is the portion of advice that doesn't really fit anywhere else.

The one with all the opinions and advice.

- If you're pregnant or planning to get pregnant really soon, resist the temptation to get a pet. Princess Anya was our child for years before T Rex was born. She went everywhere with us. She even had her own car seat. Since the kids were born, she's been reduced to second class citizen. I feel badly about it, but the kids have to take priority.

- If you have a pool, get a fence for it. Or at minimum, put extra high up locks on all your external doors. We did this and we don't even have a pool, but our neighbor has a hot tub. I am terrified of a child drowning. And statistically, drowning is very high up on the list for toddler deaths, statistically speaking. When T Rex turned 2, he could open any door and walk outside. Even on ones we put child-proof locks on, he adapted and learned to open each one. So T Rex dad put locks up high on each external door out of T Rex's reach to keep him from walking out the front door into the street.

- You'll need to consider something for your stairs, if you have them. And teach them how to go up and down safely in case the barrier is not up. OR IF THEY CLIMB OVER IT, the way T Rex taught himself to do at 14 months.

- Once baby is born, turn off the TV. It may seem really tempting to sit down and watch the game with junior, but the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV until age 2. I know this sounds tough but it is doable (speaking from experience). But if you do watch some TV try to limit it as much as possible. Multiple studies out there supporting the AAPs recommendations.

- Continue prenatal supplements while breastfeeding.

- Emphasis again on having a birth control plan after baby is born. Breastfeeding works only if exclusively breastfeeding at least every 3-4 hours with baby sucking and stimulating the breast directly. And even this is not 100% perfect. My concern is for maternal and fetal outcomes - it is best to have at least 2 years spacing between births to reduce the risk of preterm labor, low birth weight babies, SIDS, and maternal death.

- Connect with other new mothers. Often the local hospital has these kinds of groups that meet weekly. Look into it - it was how I met the ladies and their boys who would become our playgroup.

- Just because it says size 3 months, that does not mean you start putting them in it at 3 months. T Rex was about 3 months ahead of clothing sizes. Until I realized that, we missed out on using a lot of cute clothes because he outgrew them so fast. Bebe Sister is the opposite - she's about 2 months behind the size chart. Keep checking back with your clothes. And always buy ahead on sizing.

- If those baby blues last more than 2-3 weeks, tell your health care provider. Call sooner if you feel like hurting yourself or others. Postpartum depression is real and affects many women. Get help. And know you're not alone.

- Keep a baby journal to record milestones. We have blogs for each of our kids so we can write down their growth and actions. It's fun to go back and read as well as see the associated photos and videos. Fair warning: it will make you tear up to go back and read those milestones.

- Save some carefully chosen tiny belonging of each child. We have each of the kids' going on home outfits, their first swaddling blankets, early favorite toys, etc.

- Take lots of photos AND video. It goes by so fast that before you know it, they won't be babies any more.

What other gems of advice do you have to add? These comments can count toward other entries into the 3 giveaways going on with this blog event through April 15th midnight MST.


And thank you all for you support through this very first event. It's been a lot of work but so incredible to see some of my most loyal followers offering their support. And also fun to make some new friends, too. Now go enjoy those giveaways!

Live and Learn Blog Event - Day 5

Practical advice for first time parents

Diapering Options

The below photo shows about how many diapers your baby will use in the first 2 1/2 years (average of 6 diaper changes per day). Each stack represents 25 diapers and that's a 9 month old baby girl at the bottom corner of the photo.

I don't know about any one else's babies, but mine go through far more diaper changes in a day than this. During the early days my kids generally soiled about 20 diapers a day (ages 2-4 weeks). Then it decreased to about 12 per day and held steady for many, many months. Then around age 1 it dropped again to about 8 changes per day by then we were potty training. At the moment, my 14 month old is also doing elimination communication (EC). We started around age 2 months and because of it, we see days where we only use 2 diapers a day. However, if we don't do any EC, then she's still at about 8 diapers a day. My point in saying all this - the below photo is a very conservative estimation.

You have two major options: cloth or disposable. There are a huge variety of options within each as well. With disposables, you may choose from chlorine-free and regular. With cloth, there are even more options. Prefolds, flats, pockets, all-in-ones, all-in-twos, fitted, and probably a few other types I am forgetting. Basically, the options and combinations are endless with cloth.

If this is your first baby, then as much as it pains me to say it, it's probably best to hold off on cloth for at least the first 2-4 weeks. Unless you've had experience with cloth diapers at some point, dealing with it while also dealing with a newborn and first time parenthood will set yourself up for a higher likelihood of failure.

You need to know though that not all disposables are created the same. The ones the hospital sent home with me smelled like baby powder. As a health care provider, I don't recommend anything for my patients that has an added scent to it. I've seen women in the clinic who come in with areas on their bottom that are red in the shape of a pad and it's caused from using "deodorized pads". If you go the disposable route, please, please, please, consider using chlorine-free diapers for your baby. There are so many chemicals added to disposable diapers to make them the way they are. Some of those chemicals are carcinogenic meaning they can cause cancer. This is a fact. If you'd like to read more about this, visit the Real Diaper Association's fact page. This is where you can read about dioxins, TPT, and SAP. Chlorine free are definitely more expensive but if you order in bulk you might be able to ease some of the cost burden.


But, if you'd like to avoid those late-night runs to the grocery store when you find you've run out of diapers unexpectedly, are tired of paying thousands of dollars on something that is going to be thrown away every day (or maybe you're tired of the stinky trash can of soiled diapers), want to avoid the scary chemicals of non-chlorine free diapers, if you find that your child has sensitive skin and you are constantly applying diaper ointment for chronic diaper rash, or you just think cloth is softer on your baby's bottom, then cloth diapers are the right choice for you.


My opinions on this topic are biased because we watched for months as we put disposable diapers on our son and his bottom was endlessly raw from constant diaper rash. We used to go through tube and tube of rash cream. One day he begged me, "No more paper pants, Mama." His rash, and pleas were big reasons we potty trained him so early. However, I was completely unaware of modern cloth diapers when we had him, and I had never even seen one. If I had any idea then what I know now, our little guy would never have had diaper rash. (and he MIGHT not have ended up with asthma plus endless allergies). If you'd like to read more about my experiences on cloth diapering, you can read here.


But before you decide which option is for you, consider which is better for your baby. I find if I put my kids first, then I can generally rise to whatever challenge is presented before me. Whether it be re-budgeting the household expenses so that you can spend a little more on chlorine-free diapers or you decide to invest in some cloth diapers (and the sooner you start with cloth, the more money you will save), you need to choose an option that both works for you and is healthy for your baby.

Kids in their ChubbieBums diapers.

I've been extremely happy with the diapers I have from Chubbiebums. I have 8 total - some I've used on T Rex as night time diapers and the rest Bebe Sister uses during the day with wool or Bummis covers. They are soft and absorbent. And also, really cute. And if your child is no longer in diapers or you are going another route, ChubbieBumsHeirlooms also makes lovely clothes for children. Plus, the services is just wonderful.

Giveaway #3: If you'd like the opportunity to win a gift certificate to one of my favorite Etsy shops that sells fitted cloth diapers - ChubbieBumsHeirlooms, then leave a comment with your thoughts on diapering (mandatory for giveaway entry). There are other opportunities for more entries - like Chubbiebums on Facebook
and/or comment on another Live and Learn posting. Giveaway ends April 15, 2011 at midnight MST. Only topic related and constructive comments will be accepted.

Live and Learn Blog Event - Day 4

Practical advice for new parents

Child Birth

Pregnancy is nearly complete - time for baby to make that grand entrance into the world. And as my OB reminded me when I was many, many days over due - all babies come out eventually. Indeed. Some through the door (vaginally) and others through the window (c-section). Rarely are c-sections scheduled electively for first time mothers if it has been an uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy. However, about 29% of all labors are via c-section for whatever reason. For the purposes of this posting, we'll stick with discussing preparation for vaginal delivery and trying to avoid c-sections.


Let's start by some ways to avoid a c-section.
- Avoid induction unless medically necessary as induction does lead to a higher rate of c-section. Scheduling out of convenience might seem important at the time (believe me I understand this as I had Bebe Sister at the beginning of a school semester), but if you can go into labor spontaneously then you stand a better chance of vaginal birth.
- Labor at home as much as possible (ideally until 3 cm).
- Choose your health care provider and hospital carefully (if this is possible). Check their c-section rates and go with the one with the lowest. Or plan a home birth. Our OB was VERY much opposed to elective c-sections and he worked with us to really avoid having one (remember, I'm really petite but I still pushed out an eight and a half pound baby but had a nice episiotomy to show for it).
- Consider the use of a doula or birth assistant that can be your advocate while you are in labor.
- An excellent child birth preparation course can do wonders. Learning relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, and knowing when c-sections are appropriate.


As far as child birth, you have a couple of choices with regard to pain management - with or without the use of pain relieving medications. However, do not think that just because you're planning on getting that epidural you'll be without pain. You still have to go through early labor without the use of pain relievers and this can last for days. And epidurals do not always provide complete relief and often women do feel the pushing stage. Additionally, speaking from experience, actually getting the epidural itself is not without discomfort, especially if you're in uncomfortable labor. And the needle does not always find its place the first or second time.


And in case you did not know, you do also have some choices when it comes to birth location. There is the typical hospital setting, but there are also birthing facilities that offer a more natural atmosphere, and home births are also making a strong come back. You just need to ensure that your health care provider will delivery at your preferred location. If you would like to read an amazing all natural at home birth, visit my friend Emily's blog and read her birth story. It's a beautiful one. In contrast to this, you can read my hospital birth with baby number 2 here. It is important to note that both of these birth stories are not first time deliveries, which tend to last quite a bit longer. For example, with T Rex I was in labor for a total of 56 hours, 3 of which was pushing, and only 18 of which was with an epidural. With Bebe Sister I was in labor less than 24 hours, less than 3 hours with an epidural, and pushed for 5 minutes.


Every birth is different. And just realize that stuff can happen fast or not so fast. Always expect the unexpected and if you find you get exactly what you expect, than better to not be surprised than to be in shock.


Ensure that you take some kind of child birth preparation class. Some are better than others but taking one and learning, at minimum, some breathing techniques will help you significantly.


Make a birth plan. It can be as detailed or not as you want. My most recent birth plan had some interesting details to it. For example, I wanted the baby cleaned off before she was handed to me. I know that sounds odd but I was a little paranoid about dropping her if she wasn't clean.  The nurse working with us said she had never seen that in a birth plan before but she complied and intervened when my physician attempted to hand her to me not cleaned. 


Next I want to talk about what to pack in your hospital bag if you are not planning a home birth. Pack your bag early and keep it in the vehicle you will be traveling to the hospital in along with the car seat.


- Clothes - Consider what you want to labor in and pack it unless the hospital gown is your preferred choice. You might also want some other breastfeeding friendly clothes for wearing at the hospital. Also include some socks and underwear you won't feel too horrible about tossing due to stains. Nursing bra for sure. Plus some stretchy clothes for coming home (you'll still have quite an abdomen on you even after delivery.)
- Camera - toss in a disposable camera in case you happen to forget or not have your regular camera with you.
- Pads - I was amazing by the amount of blood loss following delivery. Shocked actually. I never used such giant pads. Pack some of your favorite kinds whether you like disposable or cloth, just pack them.
- Breastfeeding pads. Some women might actually be in the hospital long enough to need to use them so just pack some in case.
- Regular hygiene products and make-up you might want to use while there.

- List of phone numbers of people to call.

- Something to use as a focal point (like a favorite photograph or soothing photo)

- Journal (record your birth story as soon as you can)
- Soothing music

- Take home clothes for baby and favorite swaddling blankets

- Burp cloths

- Book or something to keep your mind occupied if you happen to have down time during early labor.

- Witch hazel wipes to apply to the perineal area (especially if you had an episiotomy).

- Glasses (if you require them or wear contacts)

- Your birth plan - make one and do your best to stick to it.

- Diapers - the kind you want to use for baby
- Extra paper for some extra set of foot prints

When you arrive at the hospital and are admitted, it's alright if you don't like the nurse assigned to you. Ask for another. You want to work with someone that you get along with. If you're not getting along well with Nurse Grumpy, ask for someone else. It's alright.

During delivery

- Partners - T Rex Dad says if offered scrubs to wear, take them. It can get messy.

- If you do not like needles, do NOT look at the epidural needle.  (T Rex Dad says: Dads, you ALSO should not look at the needle going in "Oh My")

- Don't eat anything - you will likely see it again if you do.

- Listen to your instincts - if you sense something is wrong, tell someone. If you sense you need to start pushing, there is a good chance you need to.

Following delivery

- Ice, ice, ice. For the first 24 hours apply ice to the perineal area. We found that diapers stuffed with ice made great ice pads. Gloves stuffed with ice worked good, too.

- Get as much rest as you can right away. It's okay to tell people not to visit you at the hospital.

- Sleep when baby sleeps.

- Take lots of photos, you can always delete them but you can never go back and take more.

- Begin breastfeeding as soon as possible.

If you end up needing or getting a c-section, that's alright. As I said earlier, 29% do so chances are someone reading this will end up going that route. It's just a bummer because recovery is so much longer as is the hospital stay. And it IS major surgery.

However, no matter which way baby enters this world - window or door - you'll have a new bundle of joy to love and nurture and all those months of pregnancy and hours of labor will be well worth it.

Disclaimer - once again this advice is not intended to replace that of your health care providers acting in an official capacity and I am not acting in an official health care provider capacity here. Just merely offering my own experiences and knowledge.

I'd love to hear or read your birth story and please feel free to offer your tips and suggestions to our first time parents. Did your labor go as planned? Is there anything you would do differently to prepare for child birth? Is there something you would add to the hospital bag? (If you leave a comment, you can put this toward an extra entry for one of the Live and Learn Giveaways - they close April 15th at midnight MST.)

Live and Learn Blog Event - Day 3

Practical advice for first time parents

Breastfeeding

According to the CDC, 75% of women start breastfeeding immediately following birth. However, the number of babies who are exclusively breastfed at ages 3, 6, and 12 months remain consistently low with little improvement. This low level of continued breastfeeding indicates a lack of support and education for women about the benefits of breastfeeding.


Looking at cost benefits alone, if breastfeeding levels were increased from current rates to the U.S. Surgeon General's recommendations (75% at hospital discharge and 50% at 6 months postpartum), then at minimum 3.6 billion dollars could be saved just in cost savings for treating three of the most common childhood illnesses (otitis media, gastroenteritis, and
necrotizing enterocolitis). This number does not include costs for for formula or treatment costs for maternal disease prevention (breastfeeding reduces risk of breast and ovarian cancers).


Breastfeeding may be totally natural and have been practiced for tens of thousands of years, but it does not always come naturally. In fact, I know of no one who has had a flawless experience from beginning to end. And formula companies make it so easy to throw in the towel! When I left the hospital with each of my kids, I was given no less than two bags full of formula plus other formula supplies despite my stating up front my birth plan that I would be breastfeeding exclusively. Also, each local pediatric office here in my town is are stocked from floor to ceiling with formula. The formula propaganda is incredible. Add to this, many work places are less than friendly to breastfeeding women when they return from maternity leave.


In breastfeeding there are so many other struggles that have to be met along the way. Reflux, tongue-tied, GI disturbances, latching issues, etc, etc. Most are manageable. These issues just takes time and support. I find that often when breastfeeding does fail it is the that education and support are lacking. My hope is to provide some of the educational component to preparing to breastfeed for the first time.


Supplies
- Breast pads (either reusable or disposable) - both types are usually available at the local grocery store
- Breast cream - in case of sore or cracked nipples or to prevent them, too. (Lanolin which is usually the main ingredient does stain so make sure you don't get it on that favorite nursing bra.) Here is a popular brand that I've used and it's available at most local grocery stores. However, I enjoyed using Earth Mama Angel Baby nipple butter, too, but you'll likely have to find it online or at a local boutique.
- Nursing bras - two or three should get you started. Then you can figure out which style and brand you prefer. Bravada was my favorite brand but I also enjoyed using Medulla sleep bras as well. For the first several months you'll need to wear a bra 24/7 so ensure you have some conformable ones for night time, too.
- Breast pump and associated supplies (consider back up parts, too) - We purchased a Medulla Pump in Style off eBay with a 24 bottles for about $50 (new these run about $250). I replaced the tubing for $2 and it has been going strong through two kids and 33 months of breastfeeding (and still counting). A really good breast pump can make a big difference
- Nipple shields - I never used these but it is nice to have them on hand in case you do have a sore nipple and need to give it a rest. However, you cannot use these all the time because the nipple does need the stimulation from the baby's sucking in order for supply to be maintained.
- Milk storage containers - either disposable bags (Lansinoh or Gerber bags) or storage bottles
- Bottle (if you plan to pump and feed breast milk)
- Breastfeeding pillow - I borrowed a Boppy but I did not find it necessary. Some women do find these devices are really useful.


Consider taking a breastfeeding class with your partner. (I would recommend taking the class even if he will not be attending). Dad might not be feeding the baby but studies show that when the dads hear the educational component they are more supportive, can offer trouble shooting suggestions, and encouragement, and women are more likely to continue exclusive breastfeeding for longer periods of time. For example, one of the most common reasons women stop breastfeeding is because they think they don't have enough milk. When babies go through growth spurts, the supply might not be able to keep up with the demand. However, if she pushes through and feeds baby more frequently, milk supply will generally catch up in 24-36 hours. If fathers know this, they are more likely to be supportive during those low milk times and encourage moms to keep going.

Additionally, if you have friends or family with breastfeeding experience, talk to them.

Also look into your local chapter of LeLecheLeague. This can be an amazing support structure especially when you might be having some issues, concerns, or just want some support.


When I asked T Rex Dad about breastfeeding from his perspective, he said it simply makes life SO much easier - no bottles to heat in the middle of the night, none to clean, no carting bottles or formula in a diaper bag, an instant soother for baby especially at 2 am when NOTHING else will work, 6 extra IQ points (if breastfeed exclusively for 6 months), and non-stinky poopy diapers. Did I mention 6 extra IQ points?


Yes! T Rex Dad insists I mention the IQ benefits. Children can gain up to 6 extra IQ points if exclusively breastfed for 6 months (basically one for every month). Add this to 6 points that can be gained if mom took DHA during pregnancy. That's 12 points total. Do this at your own risk. "Risk", you ask? Well, we did all this with T Rex and let me tell you he is one precocious kid. I don't know how we're going to keep up. We are doing it with T Rex Princess too! Watch out world!


Once baby is born, get him/her to the breast as quickly as possible. Research all shows that if baby is at the breast within one hour of birth, breastfeeding outcomes are better than if it is delayed (this can be tough if you have a baby that goes to the NICU).

Get your nurse to help with proper latch technique and call for help as much as you need or want. I taught plenty of women how to get their babies latched on, but I still had my recovery nurse check my latching technique frequently for me with both my kids. Do this especially if you don't know what it should feel like. It's helpful to have someone else take a look. Baby's mouth needs to be around the entire areola (brown round part of the breast). I know that seems like a lot but if you knew how the baby sucked from the breast, you would understand. This is an amazing video of ultrasound imaging of a baby sucking along with a description of the mechanics. Really cool and explains so much.


Remember, the first 2-6 weeks are the toughest. If you can push through those, you will have a high probability of success. And even if you just make it to the 2, 4, or 6 week mark, you are doing you and your baby a whole lot of good. Breastfed babies have fewer illnesses, fewer GI disturbances, less spit up (less stinky spit-up, too), and a lower incidence of obesity. There are benefits for moms, too - lower incidence of breast, uterine, and ovarian cancers, decreased incidence of osteoporosis, offers some child spacing through ovulation suppression, lower incidence of postpartum depression and anxiety, speeds the process of the uterus returning to pre-pregnant state, and aids in losing that baby weight. And there is the added cost savings - American Academy of Pediatrics says it saves about $400, however, I would say the savings is significantly more than that. Check the price of formula next time you're at the store.


Something I feel that is important to mention is the effect of drugs on breastfeeding. Before you take any drugs, ensure that it is safe for baby AND for milk supply. For example, antihistamines are not harmful if passed to baby in breast milk, however, they can have a very negative effect on milk supply. Even eye drops can be absorbed and pass to baby in milk so check all drugs before using them. This is the site I use when prescribing medications for lactating women. As far as alcohol, generally only one serving per day or less is recommended. And if you do plan to partake, feed baby first, and then have that serving.


So, how did I achieve success? First, I had the best support from T Rex Dad and our wonderful pediatrician. In addition to that, when T Rex was born, I set goals - 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 1 year, 18 months...you get the point. I found that if I started with realistic goals I could see myself reaching them. And always when I reached one of those goals I would evaluate - How is the working for me? How is this working for the baby? Is he gaining weight, growing and thriving? When the answer to one of these was "no" and there was nothing I could do about it or if it was harmful to continue, I stopped.

With T Rex, I was forced to stop due to dehydration from being pregnant with Bebe Sister. I was vomiting 3 - 5 times a day and lost 10lbs in 4 weeks. T Rex was 19 months at the time of weaning. For some, "no" might come sooner rather than later - just ensure you are at peace with your decision because once you stop, it is very likely you will not be able to get going again. Milk supply can be that sensitive.

Breastfeeding is an acquired skill. It takes time, patience, and the support of those around you. However, there is just something truly wonderful about providing the nourishment and seeing your child grow as a result of that. And the bonding experience is incredible.

Giveaway #2 - Sponsor is me, T Rex Mom. I'll make you anything you've seen posted on my blog or my Etsy shop. Comments contributing to the discussion will be entered into the giveaway and I will be randomly selecting a comment as the winner. If you leave a comment on another Live and Learn posting, let me know and I will give you an extra entry for this giveaway. Only topic related comments will be considered.

What would you like to add to this discussion? What have your experiences with breastfeeding been like? What suggestions would you offer?

Disclaimer - none of this information is intended to replace that of your health care provider acting in an official capacity and I am NOT acting in an official health care provider capacity but rather offering advice from the perspective of a lactating woman.

Live and Learn Blog Event - Day Two

Buying for Baby

Ahhh...the good 'ole baby registry. What could be more fun than picking out baby things? However, as a first time parent it is so overwhelming knowing exactly what to get. How many hooded towels do I need? Do I need that baby bath tub spa? It really is crazy. And it all adds up so fast. Have you seen the price of crib bedding?

A little reference before we start:

- Regular bold font (recommended)

- Italicized (highly recommend)

- Underlined (we could not survive without)

Sleeping - Where is baby going to sleep? This will tell you what you need. If you're planning on co-sleeping then all you might need nothing or only a bassinet, play n pak, nap nanny, or bedside sleeper and you can forgo the crib. But if you plan on using a crib, then you will need to purchase one and it's associated mattress along with:
- Sheets (2-3 of the kinds for each type of bedding system you use)
- Water proof pad - these are just really handy and you can use them well into the toddler potty training years.
- Sleep sac and swaddling sleep blankets (Halo preferred brand for sleep sac and Aden and Anais for swaddling)
- Optional crib items: bumper, crib skirt, matching bedding (we NEVER used our crib bedding except for decor - these days blankets are not recommended for use during sleep)
- Monitor - some folks use them and some don't. Our kids always roomed in with us so we didn't need one but if you have baby sleeping in another room consider one.


Feeding - Breast or Bottle or Both
- Breastfeeding supplies - more in a separate posting
- Bottle - formula, 4-6 GLASS (not plastic) bottles and various types of nipples (do your research about bottle brands - I am NOT an expert in this arena as we used our bottles so rarely and even when we did, the kids hated them), bottle warmer.
- Bibs - you can never have too many but get a variety of types as you little one might not like a particular kind and constantly rip them off. They are also great for drooling/teething, too.
- Spoons - there many kinds but honestly I don't think it matters except that they be baby sized. We get the packs of 12 disposables and these have made it through 2 kids for about $2/pack.
- Bowls - have some bowls dedicated for your little one. Make certain they are PBA free, especially if you'll be heating anything in them.
- Baby food making supplies (food mill or blender for pureeing) if you plan to make your own baby food, which I highly recommend.
- High Chair - once again there are tons of models out there. We like ones that fit on our existing chairs so as not to take up much space. Plus, they are inexpensive and easy to clean. We use this one everyday and this one for outings but the latter would also be a great every day use one, too.


Play
- Exersaucer - for use starting at about 5-6 months (before then I just don't think they have enough core strength). Here is an example.
- Activity mat - something with bright colors (babies like contrast like black/white and bright colors)
- Bouncie Seat - most any kind is great. Ones that vibrate are a bonus. And some even convert to toddler rocking chairs, too.
- Mobile - resist the temptation to get the one matching the crib bedding unless your crib bedding is contrasting bright colors and blacks/whites. Also a bonus if you don't have to wind it.
- Walker - probably not necessary unless you're going to keep it set to the stationary position. American Academy of Pediatrics discourages use of these.
(All of above items we purchased used or borrowed, except a walker which we never owned.)
- Various rattles and baby toys - try to get things that have contrasting colors and a variety of textures for baby to feel and bite. I am not a big fan of car seat toys unless they are really soft.
- Board books and texture books - start reading to baby as early as possible (even in the womb).


Clothes
- 6-12 onesie under shirts
- 6 snap-in-front t-shirts
- 6 gowns (they also have ones that have snaps and convert into union-suits (these are great so you don't have to change their clothes before getting into the car seat).
- 6-12 outfits (PJ suits or playsuits)
- Purchase mostly 3+ month clothing rather than newborn size. They grow fast and the newborn stuff only lasts for 1-4 weeks. Whereas, you can usually start putting them in 3 month right away. Unless, you have a tiny baby (6lbs or less).
- Don't forget to purchase weather appropriate clothing (don't get size 6 month shorts if baby will be about that size in the middle of a snowy winter).
*When our babies were newborns they lived in snap-in-front t-shirts and gowns and were swaddled in Aden and Anais blankets. I liked having the bottom open for quick diaper changes (especially in the middle of the night) but also once they reach that 10 day mark they start needing LOTS of diaper changes. Plus, putting pants over the umbilical stump is not so easy.*

Baby Carriers
(So much great info out there on the benefits of baby wearing. Plus, you never know the cool things you and baby will get to do.)
- Sling - these was the best for those newborn days and those early baby wearing days.
- As baby gets older a more sturdy carrier. Our favorites are the Boboa, Baby Bjorn (what I am using in the photo to the right), and Snuggie.
*If I were going to purchase just one I'd get the Boboa (or Ergo) - baby can ride in front or back and there is excellent support for the wearer as well as the baby.*


Car Seat -
- An infant carrier will get you started but often it will only last the first 6-9 months and then you will need to transition to the bigger size. You can get bigger sized infant carriers like Chicco (this is what we have). It accommodates infants 30lbs and 30inches but this is the largest I've seen.
- Transitional seat - Britax Marathon is what we use and we LOVE it. It will accommodate through 80 lbs. Technically you could also use something like this for baby starting at 8 lbs. It just would not come out of the vehicle like an infant carrier - which we would be fine with because we NEVER took our car seat out of the car (maybe 4 times total with baby #2). I'm of the opinion that car seats are exactly that - car seats. Leave them in the car.
- Mirror to see baby - something you attach to the back seat so that you can view rear facing baby through your rear view mirror. Here is an example.


Strollers - not too much to say except that most folks have a heavy weight one and a light weight one. Go look at them. Make sure you have a good one you can take walks with and carry some cargo as well as one for tight spaces like malls and farmers' markets.

Our used super cool, super light weight Japanese stroller.

Bath Time
- Hooded towels - 2-4 count - these just work perfectly for bath time and swim time.
- Something to bathe baby in - there are so many different kinds of devices. We've tried lots of them. We borrowed a really cool baby tub for T Rex and used it for a while. Then we had a blow up duck tub that he bathed in for a while. Bebe Sister took her baths in the sink for the first 6 months. I'd say whatever makes your life easy and it will probably change and evolve. You probably don't need the spa tub for baby but if that is what makes bath time fun for everyone, go for it. My only statement about bath time - NEVER leave baby unattended even for a second.
- Baby wash/lotion - Burt's Bees has always been our favorite for soaps, lotions, diaper cream - everything. But water is also one of the best cleansing agents for babies, too.
- Do not use baby powder, though. Talc in baby powder has been found in cancer tumors so it is no longer recommended even though you will still see it available. If you want some kind of powder ensure it is talc-free.
- Comb and brush (brush is great for working out cradle cap)
- Baby toothbrush (seriously never too soon to start)

Diapers and Accessories - separate posting about this later in the week.

Health/Beauty
- Nail clipper - you'll be surprised, some babies are born needing their nails clipped.
- Mittens - those tiny nails are sharp and they like to scratch themselves
- Thermometer - typanic (ear) ones are not accurate on babies until they are 6 months old so find another one for use during that time. And there is nothing wrong with good old fashion rectal thermometers (we still use ours). They are still the most accurate. If I were to purchase a new thermometer I would get an Exergen temporal thermometer - it's what our local clinics and hospitals use.
- Alcohol wipes - once to twice daily cleansing of the umbilical stump until it falls off sometimes around day 10-14.
- Vaseline or some kind of barrier ointment in case of circumcision.


Misc.
- Swing - add this to your MUST HAVE list - this saved our lives so many times with T Rex (something with a high setting). Use with the high setting and it will calm a crying baby. Get one with a high weight limit (ideally 30lbs not 25lbs) and something that can swing forward/backward and also accommodate a swaddled baby. Here is the kind we have. Hint: ALWAYS keep extra batteries on hand for this item.

- Noise generator - something that makes ambient noise ideally with a white noise or rushing water sound. Think the sound of blood rushing in the womb. A fan works for this, too. It's soothing for baby and parents, too. And it you co-sleep it keeps down on parental waking from every little sigh and coo (unless you like those sweet baby sounds.) We own three of these.
- Burp cloths/receiving blankets - you cannot have too many of these. No matter how many we had, we always seemed to run out. Old style prefold cloth diapers or flat birdseye cloth diapers are the best burp cloths. They are cheap and clean up beautifully.
- Diaper bag - Go look at some and pick out a couple. We have a bigger one for long outings and a smaller one for quick trips to the store. And it's another one of those things that you'll find it to be ever evolving.
- Vehicle - Definitely consider what vehicle you drive and whether it will accommodate a rear facing car seat for two years. The new guidelines recommend keeping baby rear facing for a full two years and with one of the bigger transitional seats rear facing, you may find that your two-door car is not very car seat friendly.
- Pacifier (Bimpie) - T Rex never used one and Bebe Sister used a Soothie for about 3 months. Breastfeeding experts say you should not introduce one until age 1 month if you plan to breastfeed. However, neither myself nor any of the other moms I associate with had any issues breastfeeding and also using a pacifier from day one. And they really can be magic and there is some info about use being associated with a decreased incidence of SIDS.


One other note - buy as much as you can used and borrow, too. Lots of these things babies only use for a short time so if you can just borrow them, then you won't have to spend the $200 to purchase and then have to store them when you're done. The one exception is car seats - I just lean more toward getting a new one so you know exactly where it's been. But as I said, if you do have a used one, ensure it's still current and not expired, that it is not on any recall lists, and properly installed (check your local fire station) because you probably don't have the user's manual to know exactly how to install and it is NOT intuitive.

What were your must have baby items? Or do you have a favorite brand of a particular product mentioned above?


Please leave your constructive comments. If you do, you can earn extra entries into this event's sponsored giveaways.

Live and Learn Blog Event - Day One

Practical advice for first time parents.

Pregnancy - Do's and Do Not's

There are tons and tons of books on pregnancy out there. In fact, when I was first pregnant with T Rex I had at least 6 difference reference books that I would scour daily, weekly, monthly. Plus, a few online sources as well. So, I'm not going to go into the details that those books do except to repeat some of the more important issues. 

Three ladies experiencing pregnancy together.

I thought I would offer some general do's and do not's that T Rex Dad and I have discovered through two pregnancies, along with a few other tidbits friends have shared with us, and also a couple things I learned in my woman's rotation this semester.



*First, the disclaimer. None of the information presented is intended to replace that of a health care provider acting in an official capacity. And I am NOT acting in an official capacity here. Are we good?*

Do's:

- Enjoy this special time - period. Even if you're sick and miserable, enjoy it. It's a glorious time and very short lived.

- Record as much as possible. I used to have special pregnancy journals that I would write in at minimum once a week. I plan to give them to the kids when they are grown and expecting children of their own. Hopefully, they can read my handwriting, though.

- Take profile pictures at least once a month and the last month, take them every week. Even if you're unhappy with your appearance, you'll be glad you did. And the grown baby will also be glad of it. I have one photo of my mom when she was pregnant of me and I treasure it.

- Take a prenatal vitamin EVERYDAY. If possible, find one with DHA (lots of good studies supporting this - I've read as many 6 extra IQ points if you do DHA).

- Take a child birth class and research birthing options.

- Take a parenting class - especially if you or your partner have not been around kids much. And if you feel like you have tons of experience with kids, look into something like "Happiest Baby on the Block" - even the book or video is good, too. (Swings, Swaddling, Sucking, and Shushing - magic!).

- Take a breastfeeding class and look into your local chapter of Le Leche League now.

- Do your shopping and preparations early. You never know if you'll have to be on bed rest or if baby will surprise you and come early.

- Get the expectant dad a copy of "Expect Father".

- Take one last trip with expectant dad because after baby comes, it will be a while before you get away alone (T Rex Dad and I haven't been on a vacation alone since T Rex was born, unless you count a night away when Bebe Sister was born. And we are totally fine with that.)

- Research diapering options - cloth is NOT what it used to be.

- Eat healthy and watch what you eat. Just because you are going to be gaining weight does not mean it's a free for all eat-a-thon. Remember, what goes on will likely need to come off.

- Expectant dads - try to follow the same diet plan as the expect mother. This is one way you can show support. 

- Dads - give massages as often as possible (particularly foot massages).

- Read to baby now. T Rex Dad used to read to fetal T Rex - it was a nice time for all of us and he really knew his dad's voice as soon as he was born.

- Have family members talk to the baby in utero - he/she WILL recognize their voices if heard frequently.

- Be prepared for people touching your blossoming belly without your permission or making comments about your appearance or offering their birth stories.

- Think about your birth control plan following baby's birth. If you will not be exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months, you will likely need to have a back-up plan and if you are breastfeeding your options are limited. It's important to think about this because it is not ideal specifically related to maternal and fetal outcomes to get pregnant again all that quickly. Consider and discuss this now.

Profile pic about 18 weeks pregnant with Bebe Sister - note quite 2 years ago.

Do Not's:

- Expectant Dads  - NEVER, NEVER say the mom is "huge" even if she cannot hear you. And if she asks if she looks fat, probably best to just not even answer the question but rather go with, "You are beautiful and glowing" or something along those lines. As T Rex Dad says, there is no right answer. Expectant moms - hint, don't ask if you look fat.

- Avoid green tea (just recently been reading in my school text books about green tea and as healthy as it is in the antioxidant realm, it can be very high in caffeine and also have a higher incidence of miscarriage.)

- Avoid alcohol. There are no safe levels established so best to avoid it all together.

- Stop smoking and avoid second hand smoke. Enough said - no good will come.
- Avoid uncooked and unpasteurized products - raw or undercooked fish or meat, raw milk, brie cheese.
- Tuna in small amounts due to mercury levels.

- Caffeine - as little as possible. Most literature says no more than 1-2 servings per day.
- Avoid as many drugs as possible. Tylenol is safe. And if you have a chronic condition (asthma, diabetes, seizure disorder, etc.) talk to your health care provider before pregnancy or as soon as you know you're pregnant.

There's the condensed list. You should have seen the original. Please, offer your suggestions. Constructive comments will be entered for a chance to win a gift certificate to my cousin's Etsy shop - CChapmans Gifts Etsy Shop. Come back and let me know if you comment on any of the other Live and Learn postings and I'll give you an extra entry. (2 entries possible). Winner will be chosen by random number generator April 15th so please make sure there is a way for me to contact you if you win.

What would you add to either the do or do not lists? Or do you have some elaborations on the existing listed items?

Mommy's Taking Us to the Zoo Tomorrow...

T Rex has been singing this song for the past few weeks. And we all know that tomorrow eventually arrives, right? So, tomorrow was today. And what a glorious day for the zoo. Of course, it is the Friday of spring break here in Idaho so combined with perfect weather conditions it translates to "everyone and any young child they know went to the zoo today". But it was actually quite a lot of fun.

T Rex Dad took a long lunch and made the trip with us. Rarely do we both get to go with the kids to the zoo so we took lots of photos and had just the best time.

Here are some highlights...(be forewarned - lots of photos)

T Rex earned a new toy a couple weeks ago - a Playmobil penguin pool. He's really into penguins at the moment. Therefore, our first major stop - the penguin pool.

We have a really amazing wallaby encounter area where you can actually walk among the wallabies. Today they were eating so none of them came right up to us. However, one mama had a baby in her pouch and that was particularly interesting. If you zoom in on the photo by clicking on it, you might see the baby's head hiding behind the rock. It was just too cute.

We also have a "petting zoo" component at our little local zoo. Mostly it is just goats and sheep with a few llamas mixed in. But the kids can purchase pellets to feed them. And the animals are so gentle with the kids. There used to be a goat at the barn where I kept my horse. It was the peskiest goat. I would have NEVER paid money to feed that thing. There was a reason my horse used to try to run him down all the time. But somehow having kids does change one's perspective. Seeing the glee on T Rex's face as he fed the goats was well worth the $1 we spent.

Can't for get the tigers...

Then a brief stop at the prairie dog exhibit since they were all out enjoying the sunshine. Bebe Sister LOVED them. She was riding in the back pack and she kept tapping my shoulders, pointing, and then would let out a little squeal of happiness.

Before we stopped for lunch, we played in the sandbox and went down the giraffe slide a few times. Nothing like getting good and dirty before eating, right?



Then a brief lunch...

We took the stroller to cart around jackets and supplies but it was handy to have along as an eating area for Bebe Sister. However, she still preferred being carried on my back. Here are some photos I took of her while we watched the lions.

 

Across from the lions are the giraffes. We have a new giraffe. The elder one, Joseph, takes such good care of this little guy. And he's charming. (Click to zoom in for a better view.)

Then, time to go home for naps before toddler melt down ensues.

Indeed, a most enjoyable time.

Do you have a zoo that you frequent? If so, what are the must see animals on your list?