Balance...

I find it a daily challenge to try to get everything in my life in balance. I know many people struggle with this and can relate. 

I struggle to balance being a wife and a mother. I struggle to balance getting the household chores done without detracting from the precious time I have with my young children. I struggle to balance my personal and professional lives. I struggle to balance treating holistically and treating medically when caring for my patients. I struggle attaining a balance between my physical desires and my spiritual needs. I guess I just struggle.


I know there are no quick fix answers. And I know that often it's just that I need to re-evaluate my priorities. And sometimes, doing something fun really does need to be moved up on the priority list. I also find there is a predictable cyclical nature to some of my more anxious feelings about all these things. 


However, when it all boils down to it, I think I'm doing alright. It may seem to me like I'm flying half a ship but really, I'm doing alright. The kids are happy, healthy, and thriving. We have a clean home full of love. My time outside the home is minimal. My patients seem to appreciate the therapeutic options I offer. And all school assignments are turned in and on time. I guess the big question then is why I think I struggle.

Thank goodness for a wonderful husband for reminding me to take a step back and look at this - to look at our sleeping angels in their beds and the amazing lives we made for ourselves. And it's a mighty nice bonus that a little T Rex randomly gives me snuggles and statements of "Luv you, Mama" and my tiny little girl offers me a sip from her pretend cup of tea.


What do you do to achieve a balance in your life?

T Rex Dad's Sacks of Potatoes

It seems that the tension level in the house always reaches its highest levels right around supper time. Probably because it's the end of the day and we're all approaching the "all done" barrier. Or maybe it's that delightful witching hour phenomenon.

Regardless, I've been having to get more and more creative so I can make supper. Recently, we put up the instant tent in the kitchen. This was mildly successful. The magnetic letters seemed to buy a few more minutes...

Then it's off for baths while the meat simmers or the rice steams. This way, when T Rex Dad arrives home, the kids can be fresh and clean, ready for dinner, and to become "sacks of potatoes"...

So, although, things reach a high stress tense point where we all either act or feel like throwing ourselves on the ground and spinning circles (if you've ever had a toddler you know what I'm talking about), things seem to magically come together right when T Rex Dad gets home.

What's it like at your house just before supper time - calm or crazy? Do you have a "witching hour"? If so, when is it?

How I Do it - Secret Revealed...

So, everyone always asks how I do it. You know, juggle school, domestic duties, and still manage to squeeze in projects like these...

You know how much I love dressing my kids alike - aren't these so cute?!?

One year old birthday gifts - Left, Crunchy Beach Mama's little guy, Right, JKMommy's little guy.

For my friend Katie's little guy's three year old birthday.

There are actually a lot of reasons I am able to "do it all". First, T Rex Dad handles at least 50% of the household duties. He's a very domestic guy. We had an almost argument over who keeps a cleaner house. But he helps with diaper duty and diaper cleaning, dishes, laundry, vacuuming - you name, he does it. In most households women usually assume more of an 80% role of domestic duties. So, you can see how much of a help this really is. And yes, I am grateful for him every day.


Also, I have really great kids. They are just great - I don't know what else to say. They stick to their rhythms pretty good and are also great at entertaining themselves when I need a few extra minutes to wrap things up after nap time. And they still nap at the same time - heavenly.

 

One of my favorite books from childhood was Cheaper By the Dozen. It's much different than the modern movie. It was written by an efficiency expert who had 12 kids. Since reading it, I try to turn every repetitive task I do into a study in efficiency and attempt to figure out how to make completing the task as quickly but thoroughly as possible. 


One of the tasks mentioned in the book is bath time. Well, I've adapted it to fit my current situation. We have a large shower. When I say large, I mean gigantic. There are two shower heads but there could probably be 4-8 and still have elbow room. It can get a little cold so we try to be quick. However, it does have its perks. When I became a parent, I found that eating and showering were often luxuries. I think there are a few parents out there that can relate to this. 

When T Rex was tiny, we started putting him in the shower with us - just holding him close enjoying that skin to skin time. As he got older he would just play with his letters or other bath toys in the shower while I washed. It was nice because then I did not have to worry about him getting into trouble while I had my shower. The other plus, I could save shower time for when he was awake. 

I think I surprised T Rex with the camera here - I've never brought it into the shower before, hence his startled look. But Bebe Sister is SO happy here!

When Bebe Sister came along we put her swing (and then later the exersaucer) in the bathroom and continued our showers. She would also get into the shower if T Rex Dad was home to help. Now, she's mobile and stable on her feet enough that she's allowed in the shower. And boy does she have a great time. If she is not allowed in she is not shy about expressing her disdain. 


Another secret - I rarely sit still. When I'm awake, I pretty much don't take a break. It's go, go, go until bedtime. And bedtime, well, that's midnight. The kids go to bed around 8:00 pm which is when I get the largest stretch of  studying done. However, when the school work is done, kids' bedtime equals craft time.


Another tidbit - multitask. When I listen to lectures I will also knit. The lectures are recorded so I can pause as often as needed. And this happens a lot when I'm watching during free play time - sharing toys is still a learning process for both of them and someone always has to "go potty" or have a diaper change.


Another thing I do - pre-make meals and freeze them. I'll make a big batch of Shepherd's pie or lasagna, freeze them, and then we can put them in the oven on those days I'm at school. I also make big batches of salads (green or egg salad). Instant meals - very handy.

It's just little things like this that help me manage my time. Little things and big help.

What are your time savers?

TV-less...

I've mentioned before that we have no TV in our household. By this I mean, we have no way of viewing live TV - no cable, satellite - nothing. Now that T Rex no longer needs daily nebulizer breathing treatments, it is not necessary for him to see shows on a daily basis. In fact, we often go weeks between show viewings. At this moment, I think it's been a good two and a half weeks since T Rex watched a show - probably Cars since this is the most recent photo of him watching a show. The little girl doesn't see any. We are shooting for the "no TV" until age 2 like the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends.

Since I've already written on this, a reader asks that I detail how we manage without TV - specifically how the kids manage and stay entertained without watching any television. This is actually an interesting question and one I had to contemplate because "no TV" is such the norm for my kids. 

I kind of chuckle right now as I write this because I'm watching old DVDs of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. So, T Rex Dad and I do get a little bit of show watching in but it's all DVDs and usually the shows are 5+ years old. We've been watching Dr. Quinn, various Star Treks series, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And you gotta love the no commercials. Sometimes when we are somewhere that does have live television playing, it is so bizarre to me to see commercials. I hear I'm missing out on some good ones. However, think of the years of my life I am not having to endure propaganda.

But the kids - well, they really don't know what they are missing. At first, when we stopped the shows for T Rex, he would ask for one. And I'd allow a 30-60 session of something like Veggie Tales or Sesame Street. This was especially useful when I needed to cook dinner. Then it became every other night, then every third night, then a couple times a week. Now he doesn't even ask and sometimes T Rex Dad and I just need a break to be able to talk about something so we ask if he'd like a show or if it's a special occasion we'll put something holiday related on. (And no, he does not play computer games all day either. In fact, unless it's a school lecture or a blog I'm reading, he doesn't even look at the computer.) And let me tell you, his behavior is significantly improved since the switch. We have had significantly fewer tantrums. And the best part, he is learning to play on his own in the play room - and what an imagination he has!


It's not like I leave him in there unsupervised for hours. Rather, the play room is in direct view from the kitchen. So, while I'm cooking dinner, he will go in there and I can actually see or hear him at all times. He is allowed to close the door to keep his sister out if he wants to play with "choke-ables". The good news is that the room has windows on the door so I can still see in when he does that.


We frequently rotate toys - I pack up some in boxes and pull others out. It keeps them fresh and interesting. We also trade toys with friends and neighbors who also have children about the same age. This is great because we don't have to store some of the bigger toys like the rocking horse or kitchen. And the majority of our toys have come from garage sales, consignment stores, Craigslist, or our favorite thrift store. This allows us to get more toys for less amount. So, keeping the toys interesting is a huge part of this.


I also schedule activities for T Rex during the day. During breakfast time we discuss with the kids what our day is going to entail. We detail out our home activities as well as our outings. We talk about when naps will be, what we're going to do during art time, what books we will be reading during reading time, when free play time will be, as well as what toys he thinks he wants to get out for play time. We plan very full days so there really is not much time for shows. The key with my kids is that we are in a structured routine, they know what to expect from our day, and they really look forward to the events of the day. And we definitely build in flexibility. No battle plan survives contact with the enemy, right?


T Rex Dad and I might watch our DVDs in the evening time before bed, but the kids never see us watching them. Honestly, I think leading by example is also a major part. I know this could be tough if the big game is on or something like that. And I'm not saying, TV is bad and should be avoided completely. We've just made the decision as a family to not have it at this stage in our lives. Maybe down the road we might revisit the topic, but for now, we feel it's best for us. 

I believe the key is to keep the television turned off as often as possible. Definitely, switch it off during meal times and don't leave it on as background noise. Keep viewings down to 2 hours or less per day. Ensure those viewings are age appropriate and ideally have some kind of educational component to it. Then talk about what they watched. If possible, interact with them during the show so they don't turn into zombies in front of a one-eyed beast.

Please feel free to offer your own suggestions for getting kids out from in front of the TV. Or offer your own experiences with TV in your home.

Keep Growing...

Part of the kids' new years resolutions is to keep growing. So we checked in on their stats this week. And indeed, they continue to grow. T Rex is up about 3/4 inch in the past several months and Bebe Sister grew a good 1 3/4 inches in the past 2 months!

Yes, I'd say they are doing good with these resolutions. 

How go your resolutions???

A Party Fitting a Princess...

 

When I was born, my mom was quite ill. She endured an extra lengthy, high risk pregnancy to get me into this world. And when I finally arrived, I think I left her worn, ill, and tired. At the time, my sister was living at home and attending college. She stepped in and became like a second mother for me.

For my early years we were quite inseparable. She used to take me everywhere with her - even on a few dates with her now husband of thirty years. We are still close. Her own handsome son is almost a teenager. I know she always wanted a son, but I also know she always wanted a baby girl of her own, too - probably remembering our early days together.

When she said she wanted to throw Bebe Sister a birthday party, I thought, "Great. I don't have the bandwidth with everything going on so this will be wonderful." Of course, I seem to always forget that my sister could have made a career out of organizing parties. I know she might have gone a bit over-board but since I'm the one blessed with the baby girl, I am happy to share.

So here you have it, photos galore of our family party for our sweet little princess. Many of the photos lack faces. I apologize for that but many of the people attending the party prefer to not have facial photos online.

This is me just prior to the gathering - I was trying to be artsy be taking a self-portrait in the balloon's reflection. (By the way, take a good look at that sweater - it accidentally went through the wash so it will be up-cycled into some pants for Bebe Sister very soon.)

Bebe Sister and her Cousin Dede - he was entertaining her so the rest of us could enjoy some lunch. He is the best big cousin - really great with both the kids, actually.

Party games - once again, T Rex Dad won the chop stick game. He is undefeated three times and counting. He is challenging his sister and his sister-in-law here.

My mom and aunt working on another party game - word scramble. Gotta love Auntie in a crown!

Even T Rex insisted on wearing a crown.

 

Cake time - my sister made the entire cake from scratch - it was delicious. Apparently, it took three attempts to meet her satisfaction level.

Ready to have her cake and eat it too - pinata to the left - a long standing family tradition.

Clapping along to Cousin's singing.

Mmm - delicious cake made even better when eaten off a princess figurine.

More of that great cake because I was just having the best time with it!

A few posed shots...

With Auntie JAZ.

With her Mama.

With her Nana.

T Rex Dad took most of these photos, hence his absence in them. And he also took her official one year old photos this day, too. Those will be forthcoming and published on her blog soon.

Thank you to my sis for making this event amazingly special, memorable, non-stressful and the best one year old birthday party I've ever attended.

Walking Update...

I am declaring the official walking date for Bebe Sister to be Tuesday, January 19th, 2010. When I arrived home from a very long but still very interesting day at the woman's clinic (you can probably deduce what I did all day!), Bebe Sister saw me, crawled out of her Nana's arms, and holding onto one of her brothers Cars took seven steps to me. 

Since I stated the walking definition as more than 4 steps, I would say this qualifies. Since then, she is now standing up on her own from the floor and taking several steps. It's still quite different than when her brother started walking. He just stood up one day, started walking, and then never stopped.

However, she may not have walked really early but she's quite the chatter box. The other day I was on the phone and she kept insisting she wanted the phone - pointing and saying, "Dis...Dat" (this...that). When I finished my call I handed her the phone and asked, "Do you have Mommy's phone?" She replied, "Yessssss....Mama". I looked at her and exclaimed, "What did you say?" After which T Rex replied, "She said, 'Yes, Mama'". I could not stop laughing after that! If you'd like to read more about her speech and her one year check up, you can go here.

So, here's a recent walking video of Little Sister...

Our winner of the homemade item is Nina. She guessed the exact date for walking!