T Rex Family

T Rex Family

Friday, November 20, 2009

So What's My Problem???

Today we took T Rex in for a comprehensive eye exam with a specialist. We've been noticing some strange things with his eyes. And then the past couple months he's been covering one eye when he looks at close objects. Worried about permanent issues down the road, we wanted this looked into.

Well, after 2 hours of testing (very traumatic for child and parents), the pediatric ophthalmologist concluded a diagnosis of strabismus due to severe far-sightedness. She honestly could not believe that T Rex knows his letters and can even look at books with as poor as his close up vision is. The treatment, glasses - big, thick glasses.

As traumatic as the examination was - holding a screaming toddler down with dilated pupils, I was more upset that my little guy was going to have to wear glasses the rest of his life. Everything I've read thus far says young kids, especially T Rex's age, adapt quickly and adjust nicely to glasses.

So I ask, what's my problem? Why am I so upset by this?

I, too, have horrible vision but I have the total opposite problem. I'm nearsighted. I can read fine without my glasses or contacts but anything past about 18-24 inches and I can barely make out the color. Dr. W put some lenses up to my eyes and then had me cross my eyes. When I crossed my eyes, I could see better. Evidently, that's what's happening with T Rex. He's trying to adapt to his vision abnormality and the only way he can see close up is by crossing his eyes. With glasses he should stop crossing his eyes and the "weak" eye will start working again.

I'm glad we don't have to patch his eye or even do surgery. But vision correction the rest of his life? He's not even yet two?!? I just feel like I've let my child down. Of course, it's nothing I've done - not caused by anything in utero or trauma. Mostly likely genetic and probably not even my genes being expressed here. So, again, what is my problem?

It's not like T Rex has cancer or some debilitating ailment. It's just glasses for goodness sake. I'm grateful that is all it is. I just don't understand why I'm having such a struggle with this.

I started wearing big, thick glasses when I was eight. I was teased horribly for years until I started wearing contacts. I didn't even get to wear stylish frames. I always joke that I'm still the total geek who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, and watching Big Bang Theory. But back then, I even looked like a geek. And, yes, I was rediculed for it. I over-compensated a bit by becoming head cheerleader in high school but it never really stopped the stinging of the stigma I suffered from being "geeky four-eyes". I just don't want my son suffering like I did.

Maybe I'm just feeling hormonal. I can still use that excuse. But, seriously, am I out of line for having these thoughts and feelings running through my head?


septembermom said...

Well, my eyesight is really bad. I keep waiting to see if any of my four kids have inherited my poor eyesight. Like you, I tend to worry about whether my kids will need glasses. What's cool about today is that they have so many stylish frames. I do remember feeling funny about my glasses when I was little. I would hide them and not wear them some days. I think kids today handle wearing glasses much better. You should see how many kids wear glasses in my son's elementary school. The kids get compliments on how cool the frames are.

I do think that I would react like you too. T Rex is one handsome smart cute little guy. He is going to look great in glasses. It will be an adjustment period for both of you. It will all work out fine. Hugs!

Missus Wookie said...

Princess has eye hassles - one of the reasons she's so awful at PE. As the parent who wears glasses from a glasses wearing family I figured I was too blame... so I recognise your angst.

Hope that T Rex adjusts quickly and agreeing with SeptMom the change in frames, lens thickness etc. is amazing - just start saving for the frames replacements. Princess at one point was getting new ones every six weeks or so!

But he'll still be cute :)

Katie said...

Aw, you make me sad! I bet you'd get a kick out of my 6th grade school picture - frosted, PINK, frames. Oh yes, I am right with you on geeky glasses. 2nd grade was when I started wearing them. Regardless of T Rex's eyesight, you're a wonderful mom and your son is miles ahead of the game because of your work with him.
And Bag Bang Theory rocks. In Caitlin's words, I'm just sayin'. Be well!

mitchsmom said...

Bummer ((hugs))

At least you realized it now, early on... so many kids end up with issues at school before it's discovered (like my sister who is just about legally blind since discovery in 2nd grade).

If it's any consolation, I love glasses! Were you able to find some cute ones for him?

puna said...

Perhaps you are emotional, but it doesn't mean your issues aren't real. At least that's what I tell my husband all the time.

Shell said...

Glasses are so much cooler these days. So many choices. I was one of the kids that wore the eye patch with all the kids staring at me, and had severly crossed eyes. My strabismus was quite apparent even after surgery. I don't think I looked anyone in the eye until I was an adult. Oddly enough, I still turned out ok. You guys caught this early enough that he won't have to go through all that. I think more kids wear glasses now, too. There is more awareness of having vision checked and corrected. He won't be alone. You are obviosly not at any fault here, in fact, by being observant, you will give him the gift of clear vision.

Nina said...

No you are just being a mom. I think we all want our children to be perfect and not have any problems no matter what scale they are on.

As for kids, they will tease rather it is glasses or something else. Don't let it upset you. He will adapt and he is such a cutie that I really wouldn't worry.

Emily said...

If it's any consolation...as a child I was in LOVE with any boy with glasses. Remember the doctor on The Love Boat? I was head over heels with him...simply because he wore glasses. :)

Your little guy will be adorable with glasses.

Oh, and to answer your question about potty breaks: Yes...very often. But the problem is this boy squeezes off the flow, so I have to go bad...but I trickle.
Lovely, eh?!

Have a great day!

You are an amazing mom!!

Kim said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
T Rex Mom said...

Thank you for the wonderful and supportive comment, Kim. I'm reposting it minus T Rex's real name.

First of all thank goodness you had this experience already. This means that T Rex will not feel so alone having to go through it. You will be there to tell him how you felt and this will draw him out and hopefully get him talking about it. And I am with you, every little thing that happens to Deaglan I feel very deeply. I think your reaction is natural of a very sensitive and loving mother. I'm astonished that he has learned his letters and continued to read even though he could barely see out of one eye. I think toddlers are just amazing. I also wonder about Lasik eye surgery. Is that out of the question for what he has when he's older. A few people here at work have had it done and it seems to get cheaper and cheaper. They all say they can't believe the difference.

Shaune only has one eye that is 20/20. He can barely see out of the other. He's supposed to wear glasses at all times and I have just become too tired to remind him anymore. I love a person in glasses. It was one of the things I found appealing about Shaune when we first met. Also when I see a small child in glasses I automatically want to hug them because it raises their cute factor exponentially.

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